What is my Mess

[I wrote this post almost 2 months ago, and looking back at it I’m happy with my choice and things have definitely got better but I shall make a follow up shortly. I want to start posting more again]

What is my Mess?

Well to start with it was the literal mess in my apartment. And just a little bit myself.

However while tidying my apartment fixed one aspect it just made it more clear how big that “little bit” actually was.

It got to a point and the decision was made for me to move back in with my mum for a while, to look after myself a little more without the worries of the day to day things, save some money and do a bit more with the money while I’m still young and free. I’d like to travel more as that was reduced once I was paying more for my living expenses. I’d like to be able to learn to drive but affording lessons was an issue let alone all the extras that come with a car. I’d like to focus more on my interests.  I have so many hobbies I only halfheartedly do because I haven’t felt like I had the time or motivation to do it. For me, once I walked home, decided on my dinner, cooked my dinner, did the dishes, sorted things for the next day; more often than not after all that I’d just want to sit down and do nothing. While many people can do all of that with no problem for me it was a struggle.

I’m extremely grateful to my mum for asking me to move back in and my stepdad for being cool with it. (I mean not many parents as their 29 year old child to move back in!) I want to help how I can as being back home will most definitely really help me too.

Sometimes to sort a mess out, you need to take a step back and thing of the different ways to solve it. Some people are naturally good at keeping on top of it on a day to day basis. Some people just put things in a temporary spot to solve it later. And some times you just need to sit through and go at it from a new starting point and make sure you keep on going else things will never change.

I lived in this apartment for two years, I loved it. While I learnt more about life and living it, the less I wanted to do it.

Getting help

After reading my first post on the blog (and becoming my first follower!) My mum messaged me and asked if she and my younger sister could come and help me tidy up for an hour. For me this really meant a lot as I have definitely been too scared for my family to see my place. It’s always a worry thinking people are going to find out the bad side you try to hide. I also got messages from other family members and friends, offering support, saying they were in a similar situation but had also worked their way out of it and also people who were currently in the same situation. We often feel like we are alone in these matters, but I know in my case I thought I was alone because I didn’t want to bother anyone. And I’m so happy that I can even think of inviting these family members over, or the idea I might be able to help these wonderful friends.

First big clean

So my mum came over to help and we got surprisingly a lot done in the almost two hours (+a tea break!) And while some areas looked MORE messy, actually the place was tidier but I now needed to reduce my clutter which is what looks messy. The kitchen was cleaned, the floor was swept. I was able to finally access my coat closet (which meant I could finally put away my Christmas decorations) My mum helped me write a list of things that would help me have a little bit more storage space or just be useful in general. She was going to get a standing shelf to go above my Microwave and also make me a table cloth. (I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but my table is actually an outside one ready for taking it out on the terrace to eat and do work in the summer, but I don’t need a separate one for inside too) She also tasked me to sort a few different areas the coming week.


Continuing on

Since then my mum has come over once a week to help me, she’s even got me a few bits and bobs to help me keep on top of things.

It’s been a month since my last photos so here is a little bit of an update.

The Entry Hall –

Alot of the clutter is gone from here now! The box left is things that are going to a bootsale and they will be leaving the apartment the next time my mum visits. My sister has also redone her bedroom so I gained a little shelf from her that is now a shoe rack! I can also leave my handbag in there now, loads of places for it.

My Bedroom –

My bedroom’s had the biggest improvement, the floor is completely clear. My surfaces are also clear so I can actually do some art at my desk now! I have a few shelves left to sort, then I need to attempt to tackle my wardrobe….

The Bathroom –

My bathroom doesn’t look super noticably different. But I assure you I’ve decluttered it ALOT!

Living Room and Kitchen –

I have the shelf now! Which freed up more cupboard space so my Kitchen is much tidier now. I’ve been trying to do my dishes the day I use them but this has been the hardest habit to break! The stuff behind the sofa is things to organise and find homes for now.

The Future 

While my apartment definitely looks much better, I’m still along way from it being perfect. I still have alot of “things” to sort out and lots of clutter to declutter, my wardrobe will be a hard project too as I know I own too many clothes but I also love clothes so getting rid of them is hard. I know soon I’ll be comfortable having the rest of my family over to visit. So lets just keep on going!

My Apartment


So in April I will have been living in my apartment for 2 years. When I got my current job I was finally able to afford a place to live on my own and no long house share. Finding the perfect place was a little more tricky. I already knew I would have preferred a one bedroom place close to the town centre. And there was one building I knew I loved but at the time they only had studio apartments available which I could just not see myself in (I don’t like the idea of everything being all one room)

I had seen a few places. One I loved but I missed out on. One I never got to see and one of them was the weirdest apartment shape I’d seen too…. On the last one my estate agent had been aware I wanted one in a certain building and he had told me one was about to go up for rent and he was going to make sure I was the first person to see it! Needless to say I liked it before I went, but loved it when I saw it. My own space. I moved in fairly quickly too.

So now you have a little back story about how much I love my apartment time to show you the state I unfortunately let it get in.

Continue reading “My Apartment”

Hello and Welcome

Hello and Welcome to my blog.

I am Amelie, I’m 28 and I live in England. I like cute things but I also like weird things. I collect dolls and I have a love/hate relationship with food. I’ve also been living away from home since I was 18 and living on my own for almost 2 years now. I have also been struggling with depression for essentially 10 years now.

When I lived with people it was much easier to keep tidy,  because I felt rude making the public areas messy as we were all using them. It was always a different story in my bedroom.

When I am low, my motivation is practically non existent. This often leads to me crawling into bed early after watching TV.  Staying in beds late in the morning on days off. Or starting many projects that I never ever finish. So tidying up and cleaning are often the last things on my mind. Things often build up then become so immense that I avoid dealing with it.  Living on my own has made this situation worse.

I have 4 rooms in my Apartment. The Entry hall (with coat closet), the Bathroom, My bedroom (with one wall being the closet) and my Kitchen/Living room.  This is a lot of space to get messy. And my depression means I often impulse buy in an attempt to cheer myself up. So I now have a lot of stuff and a lot of space for mess.

This is Me and My Mess. 

I’ve started off 2018 on a high note. I have a good feeling about this year. I know this year I will finally be able to get on top of things. I know this because I didn’t end 2017 hating it, just thinking “hm that could have gone a little differently”. I want this year to be the year I finally stop making excuses to prevent people coming to my apartment. I want that cute place I see on Pinterest. I want to feel proud knowing I don’t have piles and piles of crap to sort out, because this year I want to sort it all out and stop letting things build up and get messy.

The Plan

While I have already taken some steps to organising and tidying my apartment there is still a lot of work to be done. I plan to not hide anything. I want to be able to show people that things can look rubbish but then they can be easy to sort out. I’ve spent so long hiding how bad things are that now I will not.

The basic goal I’ve set upon myself is to at least spend 15 minutes tidying something everyday. I want to be able to share my progress, my motivations.  I want to be able to learn from the internet, from the readers, from just about anything. And one thing for sure is I certainly want to own less.

So please come with me on this journey and maybe we can learn a few things together!